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As I continue to read Victoria Moran's book Fat, Broke, and Lonely No More! I find nuggets of information that I find noteworthy. Today's topic is about taking off your halo. Moran suggests that we try to wear halos of perfection. People may think I must be the perfect mom or my kid's classmates will talk about me. I must be the perfect professional or all my friends will think I'm a failure. If my house isn't spotless when my friends come over what will they think! Well, they'll think your a "control freak" and they would probably be right. OK, that was a little harsh. We all have little demons sitting on shoulders whispering our failures, mistakes, and shortcomings. But, how are you going to "craft" your life to avoid such pitfalls? Vegans spend their lives wanting nothing but peace and compassion. We want to do no harm. But, do we apply this perspective in the way we treat ourselves? What we feel on the inside will eventually spill out from us. Whether it is good or bad.
Well, let's first start with a little story. I had a chance to be around a certain person much more than I'm usually around them. This person wears a halo. This halo is not just any halo, but a halo that says I do everything right and I'm the only one who cares, and if on that rare occasion I do make a mistake and appear to not care, it was because of someone else. Hmm... Yes, this person has a very interesting perspective. I watched this person's behavior throughout our time together. I could describe her behavior as nothing short of bipolar (and no, I do not make light of people's medical conditions. conditions untreated can harm all involved. nor am I an expert on diagnosis.) One minute this person was in a near rage about a problem and literally seconds later they were having a normal conversation. I can honestly say I didn't know how to react! Such vitriol then elation. You never knew when this person was going to explode. This behavior was so frequent that I almost felt like I was losing my mind just being in this person's presence!
This person's halo burned bright. The need to feel perfect and see others as imperfect compared to herself let her wrap her mind into something manageable. She could cover her insecurities by focusing on the problems of others. But haven't we all done that at some point? We look at the speck in our brother's eye but overlook the "telephone pole" in our own eye. The person I refer as wearing her halo brightly is also one of the most miserable people that I know. It is hard to watch sometimes. Do I hate, pity or dislike this individual. Actually, no. But it's difficult to watch someone crumble under their own insecurities. If she would receive it, all I would want to say to her is, "Just take off your halo."
Peace, Vegan Girl
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